that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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