I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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