I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
