i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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