I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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