you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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