you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
