I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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