How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My feet surprised me
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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