I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
