id be glad to
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
