I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
