i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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