finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
