I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
