Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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