the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
