You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
someone owes me an orgasm
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
