My first STD was from a foam party
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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