Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
