Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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