dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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