I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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