i can't believe i had my finger in that
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
