Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Everything about him screamed your future.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
pray to the hookup gods
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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