sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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