my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
