Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have demons in me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
