tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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