worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
