it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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