Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
