Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
