he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
