Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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