thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
