Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think your dad took our porno
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
