"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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