bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
