the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
