Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
As shirtless as possible
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
