In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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