A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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