I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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