AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
