a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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