It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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