i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
