so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
