that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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