roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize