Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
