i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
